disclaimer : at some point i will probably reveal too much information regarding the birth of the twins {come on, they are baby 3&4, nothing is too personal anymore} so if you don't want to know, don't read
Wednesday, September 7th was a normal day. Faith went to school and Isabelle went to Gymboree. Then it was off to my usual ob/gyn appointment, at week 29. Two weeks prior everything was perfect. In fact, Dr. JPR had joked I had the "super cervix" and at the rate I was going, he wouldn't be suriprised to see me carry to 38 weeks. Well, things changed. I had no signs or symptoms of anything at all. Fortunatly, they require ultrasounds pretty routinely so we were able to see the nice 'funneling' my cervix was doing. It wasn't open but it had changed...drastically. Was this normal? Could be. Basically it was one of two things 1: I was in the early stages of labor or 2: it was simply a mechanical change in my body since I was carrying twins. Dr. JPR, knowing I did have a history of fast labor, was not about to chance it. He sent me straight upstairs into Labor & Delivery to see if I was having contractions. Again, I had no signs of symptoms of anything.
Once we got there, I was having contractions, nothing painful or uncomfortable or routine or worrisome, and nothing unusual for carrying multiples. The problem was this change in my cervix. The plan: slow the contractions down to prevent further changes in my cervix that would lead to labor, and pump me full of magnesium and steroids for 48 hours for the babies. This was down in case I was to deliver in the next week or so. The magnesium and steroids would help improve the lung function and reduce the risk of brain bleeds.
It was basically a whirl wind of information flying at me, visits from the NICU specialist with all the risks and concerns if the twins were to be bore before 30 weeks, doctors telling me I officially admitted for bed rest and not to expect to go home, me asking if I should call my husband and tell him to leave London, fly back to Paris, pack up and head home ASAP, and did I mention I was being pumped with drugs that made me nauseous, loopy and more. I know at some point I told my mom what I needed from home, called David and told him the news then it was a blur for a good 48 hours. And yes, that later 24 was my 29th birthday. The only good things: I was admitted on the 7th so my hospital band said I was 28. =)
Hospitalized bed rest was better than it could have been. I still had "bathroom privileges" which meant I was allowed to get up and go to the bathroom and take a shower. Woo hoo. They monitored me 2-3 times a day {and by 'me' I mean the twins}. Baby B was super active, kicking the monitor around and off and causing all sorts of trouble so the nurses often left me for last since they would have to sit in the room and hold the monitors in place. The entire time the twins looked great. They had strong hearts and were 'big' for their gestational age. I was not progressing {good thing} and the goal was to stay stable until at least 32 weeks... September 28th. From the looks of it, there was no reason to believe otherwise.
I have to take a moment and thank my husband and my parents for all the amazing, outstanding, above and beyond work the did to keep Faith & Isabelle on a normal schedule. This entire ordeal came out of no where and you would expect the kids to have some reaction. But they didn't skip a beat. They kept on their schedule, had fun and never complained. I have to give my husband and my parents the credit for communicating and working together to do what was best for the kiddos, for keeping them happy and a special thanks to David for pulling a 'Mr.Mom' while going out of his way to be the perfect husband.
I was powerless, literally not able to do a thing, and I never felt concerned or worried for a moment because every time I saw my girls they were happy, bubbly, and full of love and laughter. Yes, it was hard for me, of course it would be, but our girls were AMAZING. I think it was more frustrating to hear people make comments to us regarding "how good" the situation was for the kids so they could "adjust to not being around you" and someone even made this comment "this is probably a good thing for two control freaks like you" Nothing about the situation was 'good' rather, it could have been worse and in no way did our kids "need this." We were all making the very best of it but wanted nothing more than to be together as a family. I believe those were the most hurtful things I heard during my 10 days on bed rest. We were all doing great, missing being together as a family, but really doing wonderfully. I was extremely grateful for the friends and family who reached out with positive support and encouragement during those days.
I like to think I was maintaining a pretty decent attitude of gratitude. Thanking the Lord each day for those extra 24 hours. I wanted nothing more than to keep the twins inside until 32 weeks. But for some reason, the night of the 19th things changed. I had a 'normal' day, I didn't get near as much rest as previous days so when I started 'feeling' contractions around 6:30 I figured it was because I didn't rest as much. {rest? on bed rest? - yes, by rest I mean laying down 'vegging' out, the upright position was 'highly discouraged' and i had spent an exceptional amount of that particular day sitting instead of laying}
I remember paging the nurse {right in the middle of shift change } asking her to come because I had a question. During shift change this usually was met with a "the girls are changing shifts, someone can be in there as soon as possible". Well I paged again a bit later, and she came. I told her I was feeling them more, my bladder was empty and yes I was hydrating {the answers to the first two things I knew she would ask}. She put me on the monitor and called Dr. JPR. He said to keep me hydrated and emptying my bladder. So I did. The nurse even labeled my 3 water jugs so I could feel like I was accomplishing something as I chugged them in 30 minutes. I knew the contractions weren't going to get better when the pressure started coming and it was more and more uncomfortable for me to get up to empty my bladder and I had to really breathe through them. I texted David as soon as I processed it because in my gut, things were not turning around from this point.
I maintain the most difficult part of this process was trying to actually resist labor. With Faith & Isabelle, once labor started it was all about relaxing, letting gravity work and allowing my body to do what it was made to do. This time, it was lay on your side {against gravity} breathe through, and mentally try to halt labor. Once David got there, I was basically telling the nurse I needed to get to Labor & Delivery because they were coming strong and the pressure was building.
They kept telling me to wait... Dr, JPR was on his way... 20 minutes.
They rolled me down, telling me to stay on my side, wait for Dr. JPR, breath, and basically, cross my legs.
{warning - labor details coming}
Once in L&D, there were a million and one questions, IV's {hep lock, since they didn't know if I was having a c-section yet or not}, more questions, phone calls to the NICU and OR to get everyone ready, and more pages to Dr. JPR. Apparently I was at a 10 with baby A's head 'right there'. Yet... no pushing allowed...at...all. Literally all of my natural instincts had to be fought. It was terrible and horribly uncomfortable, laying down on my side when I knew, I just knew I needed to push.
Then Dr.JPR comes in, with the ultrasound and they rapidly determine Baby B was breech or 'caddywompus' as was later described. Then it was a mad dash to get me in the OR. Things went so fast I didn't have to take off my shirt or my jewelry or my contacts.... all things everyone else did. So I basically had a very fashionable c-section...haha.
Once in the OR, contractions were happening so fast, three of them came back to back when they were putting in the epidural... fun. Once the epidural kicked in I admitted, to everyone in the room "oh, now I know why moms get this" you literally lose all sense of feeling, which at that point was nice, but wow, how are you supposed to labor without sensation... anyway. I must have asked the doctor a million times if I was really going to be numb and if the pain meds would work because the dentist has to use extra meds on me and I get really nauseous on pain meds, and at some point they were telling David Baby A was getting ready to arrive....
and it was a girl. Screaming, crying, loud baby girl! Girl #3 ... Madeleine Trinity.
so who was next? I remember looking at David thinking, okay, 4 girls, okay, we can do this.
then he arrived. screaming, crying, loud baby boy! ... Luke Ambrose.
Healthy, beautiful twins.
Delivered at 30 weeks 5 days
Weighing in at 3 lb. 10.4 oz and 3 lb 9.1 oz
Amen.
David went with them to the NICU while they got me all together, took me down to see the precious twins in the NICU and up to my room. It wasn't until a few hours later, when things started wearing off did I realize how much i detest c-sections. I was used to being up and at'em post delivery and this was a whole knew game.
but praise be to GOD the twins were here, healthy and breathing on their own, just tiny. We didn't know what the road ahead of us looked like, where it would take us, or how things would end up, but we celebrated their birth with complete joy and amazement at His gift.